El Gallo Blanco

Half of an ear of corn coated in a much-too-generous layer of mayo and studded with rust spots of spice landed on a plastic plate in front of me. ‘Elote’: an appetizer of corn smothered in mayonnaise, cotija queso, and chili powder. The corn kernels, barely visible beneath the blanket of fat, are much too yellow with none of the gloss of a properly boiled ear of fresh corn, proving to be overcooked and chewy. The cotija queso looked suspiciously like powdered parmesan and was completely lost in the mayo - undetectable.  It can be ordered on a stick or in a cup. It looks like a kid’s creation.

“How’s your sangria?” I asked, thinking the bite of alcohol might combat the lethargy-inducing mayonnaise.  

“Umm…I’m not a fan. I mean, it’s not Carlo Rossi, but it’s not great,” the waiter said.

El Gallo Blanco is indeed upfront and unapologetic about its mediocrity.

“I’ll try the horchata.”

Sandwiched between Kalamazoo Easy Car Mart and Ted Brooks Archery, in the perpetual parking lot that is the urban sprawl along Portage Street sits El Gallo Blanco. A cheap, unassuming, slightly kitschy restaurant providing dine in and take-out Mexican food. The faded sign with the white rooster and the reader board displaying ‘gift cards for your taco lover/sevende tarjeta de regalo’ is indicative of the type of décor to be found inside the restaurant. It’s a casual place. Cases of soda and Jarritos are stacked rather carelessly in the corner next to the entrance, some cases half empty, snuffing the hope that maybe they’d received a new shipment that day. Shiny packages of Mexican candy and 99-cent bags of chicharrones line the shelf by the register. Paper bags full of tortilla chips line the inside of a glass case with heat lights resembling an industrial popcorn maker. To the right of the case, there are two 4-gallon jugs – one with a purple-ish watery smoothie substance and the other containing horchata. 

The waiter used a ladle to slosh the beverage in a plastic cup and stuck in a straw (with a bit of the paper still capping the sipping end) as he set it on the table. Their version of the spiced rice milk is not too sweet, but not quite grainy enough. The vanilla and cinnamon come through the sweetness nicely and it’s the perfect accompaniment to a dish with some heat.

Though the informality of the place will inspire a 20-year-old to scrunch up their straw wrapper and animate it with a bead of water (look mom! It’s alive), El Gallo Blanco offers a wide variety of decent options with a few things done well at a truly unbeatable price.

Even if you usually default to the ‘three taco combination platter’, plan to spend more than a few minutes with the menu. Three glossy, oversized pages of ‘Apperitivos!’, ‘Bebidas!’,’Platillos!’ and ‘Combinaciones!’ are offered. Between the poor quality photos displaying indiscernible close-ups of the specialties and the multicolored fonts (to distinguish Spanish from English), the over stimulated eye has a hard time choosing a place to start.

The menu goes beyond the typical Mexican dishes one would expect – enchiladas, tortas, tacos, tostadas and fajitas – to include a few more intriguing items. Tampiquena (Flank Steak with refried beans, rice, grilled onions, guacamole, cactus, and a chorizo/bean taco), Milanesa (Fried breaded steak and or chicken served with refried beans, white rice, cooked cactus, and your choice of tortillas), and Beef Tongue, available a la carte.

Chips in red plastic baskets and salsa arrive on the table with the menus – complimentary, as they should be. The red slurry consists of tomato, onion, garlic and enough heat to moisten your eyes slightly. Though the texture provides easy dipping, it’s decidedly not fresh, aside from the rare and hopeful bits of cilantro leaves that come up with every 5^th or 6^th chip. My fingers remain grease-free, telling of the lack of freshness of the matte-yellow chips. The appetizer serves its purpose as entertainment.

On a Friday evening the place is packed with the typical doughy Midwesterners, coming to get a departure from the weeknight casseroles. Families squeeze together in booths on the turquoise vinyl seats, a toddler cries from his highchair, and a few loners stand by the front counter awaiting their takeout.  A faux stucco wall with arches runs down the middle of the small dining area, splitting it into two sections. Embellished sombreros decorate each side, and a few unexplained trophies sit in the arch openings obstructing the view of the tables in the adjacent section.

The wait staff is informal but attentive. Though he seems to be responsible for all six tables on our side of the restaurant and has beads of sweat lining his forehead, our waiter checks in often. “Todo bien? Nesecita algo?” He arrives at the table balancing five plates on the length of his left arm, a sixth held in his right hand.

The enchiladas are mono-textural. The tortillas are dipped in salsa verde, filled with diced cactus – resembling green pepper, but with an oily finish and a surprisingly sour bite – and topped with sour cream and a scant sprinkle of fresh tomatoes and onions. The few times I detected the acidity of the salsa verde I found it pleasant, though the sour cactus and sour cream made for an unsettling combination. The smoothness melded the flavors but made for a thick and boring mouth feel. It lacked the crunch of fresh lettuce and the scattered bits of onion weren’t enough to make up for its absence. 

El Gallo Blanco offers serious bang for your buck. Order a variety of a la carte items for less than $2 each, or get the grande burrito ($4.99), or six flautas ($7.49). Spend less that ten dollars, leave stuffed, Styrofoam box in hand (mine weighed over a pound).  This isn’t the place to dine if you’re looking for a delicate fish taco topped with a fresh slaw and a lime wedge. And don’t expect a contemporary menu with sections denoting vegetarian options.

Do expect to leave full, and possibly charmed by the casual eatery. The Spanish emanating from the back kitchen, the plastic dishware, and the forthright meals offer a no-frills experience that satisfies a craving for a departure from tired American flavors.